Rants

Driving:

- If you are making a left turn, the law requires you turn into the nearest lane. If I obey this law, and you, the guy behind me, disobeys and turns directly into the right lane and then guns it to pass me, you don't have validation to be angry when I then merge properly 1 second later and almost hit your front end.




- I don't mind if someone passes me on the freeway. What I do mind is someone tailgating me when the left lane is wide open!


Bathroom:

- If you use a stall in a public bathroom, lock the door! There is nothing more embarrassing (for both parties) than opening a door on someone!

Work:

- If you are in a position of authority to give out information, you should probably know the information before you give it out. Example:
  - A lady called in the other day; she was under the impression that once you turn age 59 1/2, you can take money out of a pre-tax retirement plan and not pay taxes on it. Now, this is an unfortunately common misconception (For those wondering, no, you can't put money into an IRA, 401K, etc. and never pay taxes on it. You either pay taxes now or later. There is no escape). In this case, however, toward the end of the conversation she said, "Well, I'm really busy this time of year because I'm a C.P.A." REALLY? I feel sorry for your clients...

Life in General:

- What's the deal with the rise of jogging pants? (for non-jogging situations)

April 16th . . . First Day of Spring

I know that the "real" first day of Spring occurs somewhere between March 19th and 21st each year.

In my mind, though, we're not "in the clear" until today.

Here is why -- On April 15th, 1996, there was a short lived yet nasty snow storm. On this link, you can see the picture of the snow flake on the 15th, and that the prior Thursday it got up to 82 degrees. Some of my buddies and I even played some touch football that prior week, only to get snowed on a few days later. Pretty standard Iowa weather.

It was my Junior year in high school, and that year there were something like 15-20 snow days (at least it felt that way). This is significant because in Ottumwa (at least), seniors graduated about 2 weeks before the school year actually ended. AND, if there were snow days, seniors didn't have to make them up. Of course, the thing that ticks me off is that MY senior year there were only 2 or 3 snow days. Grrrr.

I went sledding that day, just so that I could say I went sledding on April 15th. IIRC, my friends Peter Hemmings and Brian Harrison got their car stuck on another car's bumper in the slope between the upper and lower pit.

So, take the shovel out of the trunk of your car, plant some squash, take down the snow fence, etc. We're in the clear now, folks!

Our Hearts Were Young (Are They Still?)

Can you guess what was 20 years ago today?

Our Hearts Were Young, which was the title of my 8th grade play, debuted on March 19th, 1993.

The script was actually titled Our Hearts Were Young and Gay, as was the namesake of the original book from 1942. In order to prevent a large heap of middle school giggles, the directors truncated the "and Gay" portion.

Ian and I were convinced that the Courier had
somehow photoshopped  the picture to remove half
 of his neck and add it to mine.

The plot, as I remember it, is as follows: Two girls, Cornelia (Erin Alberty) and Emily (Libby Paluska) get on a boat to go to France. One girl's parents may have been with her (Shawn Neary as "the dad" and Katy Krieger as "the mom"). They meet two guys, Dick (Ian Kenning) and Leo (myself). While on board they meet a boisterous French man (Alex Stroda) and a host of crew members (Mark Barron, Josh Linebaugh, Sarah Chmelar, Brian Harrison, Emily Kinsinger, Sarah Schrantz, Jim Bob Carnahan, and others I may be missing).

Wackiness ensues.

Ian and Erin (I think . . .)

I know it sounds a little funny to sum up the plot as "wackiness ensues," but that's because I genuinely don't remember any actual plot. There probably was a thin plot in there somewhere, but when you are in a play, you never actually get to watch the whole play. I do know there were some specific events:

- Emily matches up with Dick; Cornelia matches up with Leo

- Leo (me) at some point runs into the stewardess (Emily K.) [in a literal sense]

Brian Harrison, Ian Kenning, Myself

- The two "couples" enter some kind of card-playing tournament. When it comes to playing cards, Leo is thoroughly impressed with Cornelia, and declares that she is "wonderful!"

Well, that's about it for my memory of how the play actually goes. I'm sure there is some kind of conflict and resolution. If anyone knows what they are, feel free to share.





Of course, one awkward moment stand out head and shoulders above all others.

Emily Kinsinger, Libby Paluska, Jim Bob Carnahan,
Sarah Schrantz

There was a scene where Erin and I were supposed to have some kind of cheesy moment, and just as I lean in, about to give her a kiss on the cheek, Ian and [someone? maybe Libby] were supposed to barge in and interrupt the moment. Erin had said that if something ever went wrong, or there was a delay, she would fake slap me to prevent actual contact [something that seems plausible in the 1920's].

Well, the senior citizen's matinee, student performance, and Friday night performance all went fine; but on the final night, there was a very large delay, and after what felt like a long delay (but was probably only a couple seconds), I leaned in, anticipating the stage slap that was coming . . . but it never happened, and I actually did kiss her on the cheek to a lot of hoots and whistles. Erin turned as red as a tomato with embarrassment and THEN Ian barged in. I later found out that Ian delayed his entrance on purpose to mildly humiliate me.

Sarah Chmelar, Josh Linebaugh, Mark Barron

There was a lot of down time - since, of course, not everyone was in every scene - so there were plenty of opportunities to wander the school with minimal supervision, have fun, ride the elevator, (normally not allowed!) etc. I also remember hanging out with friends on the light & sound crew during these down moments, including Peter Hemmings, Scott Hecker, Sarah Burke, et al.

Catherine McMillan, Erin Alberty, Shawn Neary, Meghan Neary (unsure), Angie Crisswell (sp?),
Ian Kenning

Footnote: Most of these pictures were taken on my Kodak "Disc" camera, where the film was actually shaped like a disk . . . it was horribly inefficient, and could only take like 12 pictures per disk, but for some reason I liked it. It was the same camera I took on the 8th grade Washington D.C. trip. I'm sure there were a lot more pictures, but for whatever reason, these were the only ones found in a box recently. If you have pictures, please send them to me and I'll gladly add some!

Wavey Guy

There was a "Wavey Guy" in Ottumwa who would regularly stand near an intersection and wave at people. In fact, most of the time, IIRC, he would actually stand in the intersection -- in the raised median of a divided road. This was in the intersection near Wendy's, Pizza Hut and KFC -- right where Ferry St. turns into Wapello St.. Well, right here, actually:


View Wavey Guy Location in a larger map

As the buses left Evan's to head north, we would go right by him. All of us bus kids would wave at him, and he just loved waving back -- often with the double-handed wave! A few people said that he had some kind of mental problem, others said he was a shell-shocked war hero. Then again, maybe he was just a guy that really liked waving at people.

This is not him, just clip art.

Self-Guided OHS Tour

In mid-August (2012) I went down to Ottumwa for a football meeting at OHS (I officiate High School football part-time in the Fall).

My crew arrived a bit early, so I decided to give myself a tour of my alma matter, and grab a few grainy cell phone pics.

(In case anyone is wondering about "security," rest assured that someone met us at the door and let us in who was with the state association. I would not have been able to just "walk in" off the street.)

I started in the auditorium. It was exactly as I remembered it, except for two exceptions: there were new seats, and the big round "seals" with the class mottos were not hanging from the balconys. (I recall one assembly where one fell down and hit a kid on the head or shoulders... maybe that's why they were removed?)

From there, I moved toward the Vo-Tec (Voc-Tech?) building. This now involves a walk thru the new library/fancy building that was conveniently completed just two weeks before I graduated. (Remember having to carry our instruments through the auto-body room just to go between buildings for concerts & pep rallies? "Whoa, look at that big saxamaphone!" All of the inconvenience of construction, almost no benefit.) Well, there is a hallway down the middle that essentially replicates the old 2nd- story "skywalk," which leads to that half-flight of stairs that goes down to the 2nd floor of the Voc-Tech near the elevator.

That door was locked - kind of. When I pulled on the handle the lock literally fell off. I wasn't pulling that hard or anything, but the round, removable lock that sets in the door must not have been set in properly. So, in I go.

In the halls of Vo-Tech, it was very dark, but in spite of the darkness everything looked exactly the same as I remember from 1993-1997.

Vo-Tec 2nd Story Men's Room

I went into the men's room right there, and noticed that the large half-circle style "sink" had been replaced by two more traditional sinks. Peter Hemmings would be sad to hear this, I knew.











The orchestra room was locked, and I tried the stairwell right next to it to see if I could get roof access, but it was gated off with a padlock. Shucks.

The "main" door (near Mr. Flanigan's office) to the band room was unlocked. Score!

Bandroom. The director would be facing toward me, but the offices are behind me.

Woah! What's this? I've stepped into backwards world! There was no elevated platform for the band practice area. Even more surprising, it was turned around. The percussion was close to the middle of the room, and the director stood on the south/east wall (basically right about where the snare drums used to be). I wonder what the reason for that was? I don't remember if the platforms were movable or not. I was thinking they were built in, and, if so, must have been torn out. It was just about a week before school started, so the marching band drums were already out. I'm guessing the first few practices had occurred -- at least the "drums only" ones. (Did you know that we had to come a week earlier than the rest of you each year? You should be thankful....)

I went over to the vocal music room which was essentially unchanged. In the rooms at the "back" they had 4-5 computers in there. (These are the rooms where we would practice in small groups or quartets sometimes. I recall one time where we were goofing off a little, and Mr. Schneider stormed in and ripped us to pieces [verbally]! ~ don't get me wrong, we deserved it.)

New Cafeteria

Out the other door and down the stairs I went, and back toward the main building. I was going to cut through the cafeteria on the lower level of the new building, but the floors looked like they had fresh wax on them so decided not to.








The "original" part of the high school, for the most part, looked completely unchanged. I did slide down one of the banisters! The area behind the auditorium (behind the stage side) had been re-worked entirely with new siding on the walls, as had the downstairs area behind what used to be the cafeteria and next to the student council room. Frankly, I was running low on time, and didn't want to risk getting stuck behind a locked door, so at that point I retreated back to the auditorium. It was a fun little 20 minute journey. I should also note that one of our breakout sessions was in the new library/media room on the upper level of the fancy new building, and it was very nice. What do they call that, the "middle building?" I propose "Mo-Tech."

(One last interesting note - the signs now all refer to OHS as a 4 story building. IE, instead of "basement" plus 3 other floors, the lowest level is "1st floor," the offices and auditorium are on the "2nd floor," etc.)

This "classroom" is on the east end of the 2nd  floor now (or is that 3rd floor?).

My "Day in Court"

On Wednesday, December 19th, 2012, I got my first - and only [as of this writing] speeding ticket.

You know, coming down from the north, that spot where I-35 turns into I-235? It drops from 65 down to 60 and then 55 in about 2 miles as it curves to the west into downtown.

I had the cruise control set on 71 mph, and was moving along nicely with the flow of traffic. I was the schlub who forgot to slam on his breaks, so I was the one who got the short straw. I admit it, guilty as charged. $181.50 speeding ticket, dutifully paid to the city of Des Moines.

But, that's all boring stuff. Here's the more interesting part of the story:

You're supposed to carry your proof of insurance in your car at all times, of course. Well, a few days before I had printed off new insurance cards . . . and dutifully left them sitting on the bookshelf at home.

Ooops!

So, in addition to the $181.50 ticket, I was also given a citation for "VIOLATION -- FINANCIAL LIABILITY COVERAGE." The charge? Approx. $385.00 -- ouch! Fortunately, the officer let me know that if I "go down to the Courthouse" sometime after the new year, I could "get it taken care of."

Well, based on that vague description, I wasn't really exactly sure what to expect, but, if it meant eliminating - or at least reducing - a $385 ticket, I was sure going to try!


*****

I checked the Polk County Courthouse website (which I think was last designed around 1997), which had zero information on the topic. A call to the general courthouse phone number was slightly more informative, with a one line statement like "just come during normal hours and we'll get you in."

Alrightee then!

So, on the 3rd, I drove down there (I wanted to avoid the 2nd, because it was the first business day of the year and I figured pretty busy). Not knowing how long this would be, I put enough change in the parking meter to last me an hour and a half.

The courthouse is a secured building, so you have to go through a security line, much like an airport. After that, I walked up to what looked like an information kiosk, and asked the lady where to go for my situation. She just got my name and the date of the ticket, and then rummaged through a large stack of documents, pulled one out, and handed it to another worker who took it to who-knows-where. "OK, just go to that room right there [pointed]. When you go in, just sit quietly in any chair and wait for your name to be called."

[At this point, it may be fun to play the MATLOCK theme song!]

It's always fun in life to be told to do something when you have no idea exactly what that "thing" is. The door said, "JUDGE SO-AND-SO" on it. Am I going into an office? A courtroom? Some kind of classroom where they teach me about the real dangers of driving without your insurance card? If I cannot afford a lawyer, will one be provided for me? I didn't want to go in unprepared, so I went to the bathroom first -- you know, just in case this was going to be a long time.

When I went in, it was obviously a small court room. There was a big important looking desk and then a smaller, less important looking desk in front of and below it. There were only two people in the room, both female, one sat at the "lesser" desk (this must be the judge, but apparently she uses the "little" desk and doesn't wear a robe for these minor traffic proceedings) and one was off to the side (probably the court recorder?). Within two seconds, before I could even get to the nearest seat and put my papers down, the off-to-the-side lady said, "Remove your hat!" Oh man, I'm in trouble already! I mean, I'm a good boy, I know men are supposed to remove their hats indoors... my hands were just full! And the receptionist said to sit down quietly and wait for my name to be called; I was trying to obey!!! "Yes... sorry!" I said.

"DOUGLAS ROSE?" said the front lady, one second after I sat down. (Which I find kind of amusing as I was the only non-courthouse person in the room.)

I sheepishly walk to the front.

"Did you bring your insurance documentation with you?"
"Yes, Your Honor"
"I'm not the judge." (OK.... who are you exactly???)
"Sorry." [Hand her my print-off from the insurance company]
"Did you have auto insurance on December 19th?"
"Yes... Ma'am" (whoever you are...)
"OK, I'll be right back"

"Front Lady" walks up to the side of the "big desk" and disappears into a side room for what feels like 5 minutes. This must be the mythical "chambers." I was really nervous, so it may have been 30 seconds. In hindsight, I'm guessing she was some kind of Clerk-Of-Court. But who could blame me for assuming she was a judge? The name on the door was for a female judge, and she was the only "up fronter," after all.

She comes back out and says, "The judge [Judge who?] has decided to drop the charges. You will still have to pay the court costs. Are you going to pay those right now or online?"
"Uh.... [ not knowing how much that is] online?"
"OK, take one of those papers and pay your ticket and court costs by the 12th. You're all done."

Alright, well, that's that. In case you wonder, the "court costs" part of the citation was $60. A $325 reduction in the fine was definitely worth the inconvenience of my little adventure, but still a pretty expensive reminder to put that piece of paper in your car!

*****

Epilogue:

Well, I've still got over an hour on my parking meter, so might as well look around the courthouse... never been in it before! It's a pretty cool building.... dating from 1906.

Some great big and politically incorrect murals:

"The White Man Meets the Indian"

"The Indian Leaves Iowa"

Most interesting to me was this little alcove that has a quote -- it's to blurry to read, but it said (this is not an exact quote, but pretty close), "Law cannot exist without morality, and morality cannot exist without religion."














There were also quite a few fellows of the baser (looking) sort hanging around on benches waiting for something or another. I presume most of them were either accused of something, or parolees who had to appear in court for one reason or another. There were also a lot of lawyers wandering about. No surprise there, I guess.

Epilogue 2:

When I paid my fines online a couple days later, I found out that the mysterious judge in the chamber who waived the charges was The Honorable William A. Price. Thanks, Judge Price! [This still doesn't explain why the name on the door was that of a female judge, however. Perhaps some mysteries are best left unsolved.]

Two 4-Year-Olds Discuss Batman and Robin

Ben and Joe have taken a liking to Batman and all things Batman related.

This fascination came about in the last 4 months or so after they watched the Batman movie.

In their mind, this is the (only) Batman movie:

Batman: The Movie; copyright 1966.








Reminds me of my youthful days enjoying Batman. Reruns used to show on "The Family Channel" growing up. Somewhere in the 4th-6th grade range, my good friend John Juvan and I used to play Batman & Robin. We would hide in a small room or closet (some "secret" place) and pretend it was the Batcave. I made a Batcomputer out of cardboard.

I was usually Robin.

Fun to see the enjoyment being passed down to the next generation.







See how much you can interpret!